Theater In Your Head

Ladies and gentleman,
The Ferguson Project is pleased to bring you an operatta. Presented here, in front of your eyes. Your only responsibility is to provide the casting, staging, and music as you enjoy. Trust me, it almost happens automatically. Though admittedly pirated from an old book that certainly has no right to still be in print, I freely share it with you, because you likely will come across it in no other way.

With no further ado, here is our presentation of:

NEWMAN LEVY'S
THE BELLE OF THE BALKANS
A BROADWAY OPERETTA

The scene: a public square in Ruritania,
Fair Ruritania, land of gay Romance,
Where the natives have a strange and curious mania
For gathering in public squares to dance.

Amid a scene of unrestricted gaiety,
They drink from cups of papier-mache.
The military mingle with the laity,
And sing an opening song that goes this way:

"Clink, clink, we merrily drink,
Though the -weather be sunny or rainier;
Then -we sing and we laugh
as our vintage we quaff
From the vines of our fair Ruritania."

Among the local bourgeoisie and peasantry
There dwelt a maid who tended at the bar
Of all the girls, for beauty, charm and pleasantry,
Dolores was the loveliest by far.

She quite surpassed the other maidens vocally.
Her skill and grace at dancing took the prize;
But, strangely, it was not suspected locally
Dolores was their princess in disguise.

And now upon the scene in Ruritania
Arrives a gay adventurer named Cohn
A dashing lad from Scranton, Pennsylvania,
Who greets the maid in dulcet tenor tone:

"Dolores, my dearest, I love you,
You are the ideal of my dreams.
I never knew there was someone like you,
You're fairer than princess or queen.

Springtime you know, dear, is ring time,
So let us get married in June.
Then we'll stroll down life's pathway together,
My darling, Beneath the Balkan moon."

And now, mid cheers the king appears,
A comic chap and rowdy,
A royal clown with tilted crown
Who greets the crowd with "Howdy !"
"Howdy, folks I I've got some jokes. What d'ye think of this ?
My Jester has written a brand new song
Called 'Jester Little Kiss.'

Come bring a drink for your noble kink.
Don't think that I'm complaining,
But it's strange that I am always dry,
Although I'm always reigning.

"I am searching with this large imposing retinue
For my daughter who is hiding here, I learn.
Which is nothing to the hiding, I am bettin' you
That she'll get from her old dad on her return.

"She is working in this picturesque locality
As a bar maid in a neighboring cafe,
An employment of debatable legality,
And unsuited to a princess, I must say.

"So my troops will search this section and vicinity—"
When, behold from out the crowd the maid appears
Quite disguised in simulated masculinity
In the costume of The Royal Grenadiers.

"With a rum turn turn of the fife and drum,
While the banners gaily fly.
For a soldier's life is a soldier's life,
Which nobody can deny."

There, beside her, stands the gallant Pennsylvanian,
As the natives gaily quench again their thirst,
Then they all join in an anthem Ruritanian
As the curtain quickly falls on Act the First.

Act Two. A scene of glittering aristocracy:
The Palace, filled with nobles gathered there,
Who remarkably resemble the democracy
Who were gathered in Act One about the square.

There they merrily imbibe the royal potables;
Mr. Cohn is seen commingling with the throng.
Then the king arrives and entertains the notables
With a tap dance and the chorus of a song.

"Dinah, no gal is finer,
Say that you love me true, Boop-oopa-doop.
Way down in Carolina, Dinah,
We'll have a love nest Just built for two."

Now once again the plot unreels,
(With time out for performing seals)
Upon the scene with royal mien
The princess enters stately.
She sings a song and does a dance,
While Cohn, amazed, looks on askance.
"Last week I saw her wearing pants,

This mystifies me greatly.
My dear," he cries with anguished moan, "
Oh say that you remember Cohn!
Can't you recall my face at all? Please tell me that you know me!"

The princess says, "I quite regret
That you and I have never met."
And then they sing a love duet
Entitled "In Dahomey."

Now a telegram arrives in Ruritania
Which anounces that the gallant Mr. Cohn
Has been chosen Mayor of Scranton, Pennsylvania,
By the largest vote the city's ever known.

Then the king says, "Since, in your benighted domicile
That position corresponds to duke or earl,
If to love my child and cherish her you'll promise,
I'll Be proud to let you wed my charming girl."

Then the curtain falls upon an outburst lyrical,
As the critics rush to write their morning rave,
As they pen the words, "Delightfully satirical"
Mr. Gilbert does a handspring in his grave.


Theater In Your Head has been brought to you by
The Ferguson Project,
and your imagination.